Screenshot: The Insider (1999)

This is a screenshot from the 1999 film The Insider, directed by Michael Mann. Here, Al Pacino's character has been challenged by his superiors at CBS, and in this screenshot narrative themes and image composition together form a striking visual metaphor.

As One Season Ends Another Begins

I got the idea to write this driving back up to school on Saturday, May 5, and hammered out most of it that evening and over the next week. I was always intrigued by the idea of the ‘epic poem’, and although this is hardly a start, I still toy with the idea of expanding it from five cantos to nineteen, for reasons you may soon figure out.

This ended one period of my life, burying all the turmoil of the three preceding months which began specifically on January 29. Those few months were simultaneously the best and worst of times for me. And within a week after writing this, another period began. Oh happy day.

One other thing. I write continuously, a couple lines here and there when they come to me. A good portion of this was culled from all that material, as a lot of it reflected those times.

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AUTOBIOGRAPHY

I

It’s been awhile
A long while
I wandered for miles,
Said twenty was plenty
I was wrong
Twas’ one too many

I took a look around
And saw the cycle of sin
So subtle was the sound
Amidst the mirth and the din

On the side of a hill
As time crawled to a stop
I saw life pass by me
As the sun sat still

And then it came to me
As I thought to myself
I had strayed off the map
A stone’s throw, sixty feet
A blind man’s trap
I was soon to meet

II

Fallen so slow
No bottom to the pit
The sky may be the limit
But I was about to hit

Led by the sights and the sounds
I looked but had not found
I searched and researched
To the ends of the earth

Where knowledge had dumbed me
And pleasure had numbed me
Joy no sweeter than pain
Only despair I could see
All across the terrain

I could have had the kingdom
But only the world I’d take
Reserves for some rum
Amidst a firestorm I’d stake

-

III

The sun rose with her
So I set myself afire
Saw the shadow defer
The devil’s grip retire

Sort of seductive in a sadistic way
The kind of coy that’d sour a sucker
Had me chasing the wind all day

Those days and nights
They passed me by
As billows blue glide
I stretched out to dry
And though I’d tried
The best-laid plans
Shattered at the side

Sometime sooner or yet
As the sun begins to set
She rises like a vision
Slips a whispered secret
Too late to begin what wasn’t begun

IV
Clutching sanity so tightly
It bled out my ears
Asleep I wept nightly
With hell went my fears

Every thought wasted
The kiss of death
Longing to be tasted
Shorn short of breath

I crept up to the well
Deep called unto deep
I never could tell
Who this stranger was in me

Beaten down, taken aback
Broken and bloodied
I reached into the sky
Saw myself in the cracks

V
What came as a surprise?
What seemed a mystery?
I found it flied
In the face of history

And so the story draws to an end
From where the wind blows to where it goes
It comes around again and again

Back on the trail
Years to pass, miles travail
Perhaps we’d meet again
Paths cross, fates meet
In the end, in a few feet
But what may come, do pray
No stones divert my way

I Want My Money Back

Don't be fooled.

It's not as cool as it looks.

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So, I saw Disturbia today. What a piece of crap. It was basically Rear Window for dopey preteens. I mean, if you’re looking for something to give your brain a break, OK, I understand. Disturbia will not disappoint. One character talks about “substantial” books—too bad he wasn’t in a substantial movie.

________________________________________

Shia LeBeouf looking for his agent.

The movie follows Kale (Shia LeBeouf), under house arrest, as he spies on neighbors, particularly the coincidentally-just-moved-into-the-neighborhood-girl-next-door, Ashley (Sarah Roemer). Things heat up when Kale starts to suspect a neighbor (David Morse) of murder; things cool back down to room temperature when Kale gets to know Ashley.

Too bad not much of anything is original in the movie. It's all been done before. Everything follows a fairly predictable, cliche'd storyline. Not only that, characters repeatedly make dumb moves. I hate it when they do that.

The acting isn't much to brag about either. Shia LeBeouf's character watches his father die in a car accident at the start of the film, and a year later he's still suffering from depression, except the depression itself seems to be suffering from ADD.

Well, anyway. I'd rather talk about a movie I want to see.

Yup, I can't wait to see this. Apparently it's from 2005, although others sources say it was only released to theaters in February. At any rate, it's not playing anywhere, so I'll just have to wait for the October DVD release.

Which I probably would've bought anyway, but this is one of those movies you need to see on the big screen.

It's a 162-minute documentary on a French monastery. There are no voices for the first twenty minutes. There's only one interview (with one of the monks). No music, no voiceover, only pretty National Geographic (save any native nudity, thank God) nature shots. This will probably bore most people to death; I understand. If you can stay awake through, say, The Thin Red Line or The New World, you'll probably like this...mmm, this one's got my fired stoked alright.

Every once in a while I come across a movie that I think'll be the greatest thing ever, and I just won't shut up about it. Some live up to my hype, some don't. Blade Runner (check), Apocalypse Now (check), Intolerance (x), The Gospel According to St. Matthew (check)...this is the next one, so here's hoping I won't be disappointed.

Outlooks from the Outset

The Silence and the Susurrus. Sounds like a portentous novel of some sort. I feel obligated to give a title of such potential some meaning. And so I will.

I cannot pin down just what this weblog will pursue. I can only propose that it will be a compendium of experiences, a running commentary on the world as I am seeing it. It is a collection of musings, ruminations, introspections, observations, and, hopefully, conclusions. Perhaps I'll dabble in a spiritual conviction here and there, or (God forbid!) regress into political fancies.

Ultimately I want to set the record straight--but first I must find the truth. St. Paul:

"That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive."

Indeed, there's a lot of garbage out there, and the task of sifting through it all is getting more and more difficult. It's tough, but there's a lot of gold in a sea of intellect, and boy is it fun to land upon a nugget of truth every now and then. When you seize upon a bit of wisdom that rings of truth and beauty, it is a treasure worth saving. It's these sorts of treasures I am searching for, found along what I call the line of truth. When such a prize is uncovered, there is a silent pause of awe, followed by a sussurance of curious wonderment.

It is this very sort of reaction I hope to produce in others, however rare that might be.